Project Sanctuary




Information About Domestic Violence and Sexual Assault

Are you in an abusive relationship

Information About Domestic Violence

Some Statistics About Domestic Violence

The Red Flags of a Potential Abuser

Sexual Assault Crisis Program

If You Are Raped

Are You in an Abusive Relationship?

Here are some questions to ask yourself:

Are you...

m frightened at times by your partner's behavior

m afraid to disagree with your partner?

m often apologizing for your partner's behavior (especially when he or she has treated you badly)?

m verbally degraded by your partner?

m discouraged from seeing your friends or family because of your partners  jealousy?

m afraid to break up with your partner because of threats to hurt you or themselves?

Do You...

m feel like you must justify things you do or don't do to avoid your partners anger?

m avoid family or social situations because you are afraid of how your partner will act?

Have You Been...

m hit, shoved, thrown down, choked, grabbed, or had things thrown at you?

m forced to perform any sexual acts against your will?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, it is time to check your relationship. There are places you can go for help and support. Perhaps you are now out of a violent relationship, but still dealing with the pain. Call Project Sanctuary...we can help.

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Information About Domestic Violence

What is domestic violence?

"...any behavior that is intended to control and subjugate another human being through the use of fear, humiliation, and verbal or physical assaults...the persecution of one partner by another". (Susan Forward, Ph.D.) This includes physical violence, emotional abuse and/or sexual abuse.

How common is domestic violence?

"Domestic violence is an unacknowledged epidemic in our society." (Donna Shalala, Health and Human Services) In April 1994, she announced that there are 4 million reported instances of domestic violence every year.

Why is domestic violence so common?

The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence (NCADV) says "Battering is an issue of crime, health, safety, ethics, politics, systems, choices, economics, and socialization. It is an issue of individual, institutional, and cultural significance."

Not only must individual thinking and behavior change if battering is to be stopped, but social and cultural values that allow battering and perpetuate it must change as well. Ingrained social stereotypes support tolerance of abuse in families.

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Some Statistics About Domestic Violence

  • On average, a woman is battered in the US by a partner every 9 seconds
  • A woman is in nine times more danger of violent attack in her home than on the streets
  • Battered women report 4 million incidents of domestic violence each year to law   enforcement in an effort to get protection. The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence estimates that up to 90% of battered women never report their abuse
  • Battering is the single largest cause of injury to women in the United States - over mugging, automobile accidents, and rape, combined.
  • Each year, at least 1500 women are killed by a current or former husband or boyfriend. According to FBI data, 4 women a day are murdered by a male partner.
  • More than 50% of all women will experience some form of violence from their spouses during marriage. More than 1/3 are battered repeatedly every year.
  • Approximately 95-8% of the victims of battering are women. Rape is a regular form of abuse in about 50% of violent relationships.
  • According to the American Medical Association, family violence kills as many women every five years as the total number of Americans who died in the Vietnam War. Homicide is the second leading cause for women ages 15-24
  • Between 15-25% of women are battered during pregnancy
  • 1/3 of women in hospital emergency rooms are there because of domestic violence.
  • Over 50% of the women killed in the United States are killed by male intimate partners or ex-partners.

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The Red Flags of a Potential Domestic Violence Abuser

  • Your partner comes on as a real charmer and loves you instantly
  • Your partner has problems with authority figures
  • Your partner embarrasses you in the presence of others
  • Your partner is nasty on the road - feels other drivers are competing with him or her
  • Your partner wants your undivided attention at all times
  • You feel controlled because your partner must always be "in charge"
  • Your partner has a dual personality - sometimes adult, other times childish
  • Your partner is very competitive and must always win
  • Your partners promises and apologies are meaningless
  • Your partner displays jealousy toward close friends and family members
  • Your partner can't tolerate criticism and is always defending him or herself and trying to justify unacceptable behavior
  • Your partner has extreme highs and lows - both unpredictable
  • Your partner is rough at times - love pats become more and more painful. Suddenly, you realize he or she is a serious abuser, and your are a victim.

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Sexual Assault Crisis Program

A woman is the victim of a rape or an attempted rape every 3 1/2 minutes in the United States. By reporting the crime you may prevent another attack on you or on someone else. Even if you choose not to report the rape, it is important that you talk to someone and not pretend the assault did not affect you. The emotional impact of being sexually assaulted needs to be expressed. No matter how long ago you were sexually assaulted or molested, you can come and talk to a counselor about your feelings.

Myths About Rape

  • Myth: Men rape because they want sex.
  • Fact: The motive for rape is power, domination and cotrol. Most rapists have sexual relations available to them with wives or girlfriends.
  • Myth: Rape occurs late at night in dark alleys.
  • Fact: Rape can occur at anytime, anywhere to anyone, regardless of age, race, or class. Most rapes are acquaintance rapes that occur between people who know each other. These rapes rarely get reported
  • Myth: Rape is over in a few seconds.
  • Fact: Sexual assaults sometimes last over a period of days. The average period of time is over 4 hours. Victimization does not end when the rapist leaves - it can last indefinately.

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If You Have Been Raped

  • Get to a safe place immediately

  • Call a friend or Project Sanctuary for support and information about what to do or where to go.

  • If you decide to prosecute, call the police or sheriff immediately.

  • Do not shower, douche, change clothes or alter the scene of the crime.

  • Go to the emergency room of a local hospital for an exam. If you make a police report, this service is free.

  • Don't feel guilty or ashamed. It wasn't your fault!

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